I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
