Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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