Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I am naked and annoyed.
Randomize