we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
