i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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