Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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