If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
