that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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