oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
