i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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