If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
