It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Help me help you realize you are a moron
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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