You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
