I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
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