he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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