I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
