the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
