Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
This is classic penis vs brain.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Randomize
