you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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