I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
