My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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