Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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