I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
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