xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize