Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
