Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize