I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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