So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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