can we get nightvision for the apartment?
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
