dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
