The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
