brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
