O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
