Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
