I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
