Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
