hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
