Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
