Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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