No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Randomize
