We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
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