that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
