i used baking grease as lip gloss
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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