I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
