He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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