RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
