My room smells like vodka and shame
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
