Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
