i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
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