I think I won the penis lottery.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
