Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
