Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Randomize
