Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
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