so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
