So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
