Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
