i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
