I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize