well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
