brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Life is so much better after having sex.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
