addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
