Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I just forgot I was standing up.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
