We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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