Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
