I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
