all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
